Saturday - Jan 19, 2019

Yo mama so


Yo mama’s like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
Yo mama’s like Burger King… Your way, right away.
Yo mama’s like a squirrel, she’s always got some nuts in her mouth.
Yo mama’s like 7-Eleven… open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.
Yo mama’s like Humpty Dumpty… first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.
Yo mama’s like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
Yo mama’s like a nickel, she ain’t worth a dime.
Yo mama’s like a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.
Yo mama’s like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.
Yo mama’s like a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.
Yo mama’s like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.
Yo mama’s like a library, open to the public.
Yo mama’s like a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.
Yo mama’s like an ATM, open 24 hours.
Yo mama’s like Discover card, she gives cash back.
Yo mama’s like a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.
Yo mama’s like a microwave, one button and she’s hot.
Yo mama’s like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.
Yo mama’s like a mail box, open day and night.
Yo mama’s like a bag of potato chips, “Free-To-Lay.”
Yo mama’s like a turtle, once she’s on her back she’s fucked.
Yo mama’s like a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her.
Yo mama’s like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.
Yo mama’s like a bowling ball… round, heavy, and you can fit three fingers in.
Yo mama’s like a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.
Yo mama’s like a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down the gutter, and she stil l comes back for more.
Yo mama’s like cheap liquor, tastes like shit.
Yo mama’s like a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long.
Yo mama’s like a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow.
Yo mama’s like Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.
Yo mama’s like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
Yo mama’s like a door knob, everybody gets a turn.
Yo mama’s like Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
Yo mama’s like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
Yo mama’s like Pizza Hut, if she isn’t there in 30 minutes… it’s free.
Yo mama’s like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
Yo mama’s like a carpenter’s dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
Yo mama’s like a gas station… you gotta pay before you pump.
Yo mama’s like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
Yo mama’s like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
Yo mama’s like a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.
Yo mama’s like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.
Yo mama’s like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
Yo mama’s like a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.
Yo mama’s like a race car driver… she burns a lot of rubbers.
Yo mama’s like a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.
Yo mama’s like a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.
Yo mama’s like a shotgun, one *** SPAM *** and she blows.
Yo mama’s like a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.
Yo mama’s like a Toyota, “OOooh what a feeling!”
Yo mama’s like a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on.
Yo mama’s like a vacuum cleaner… a real good suck.
Yo mama’s like a vacuum cleaner… she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.
Yo mama’s like an ice cream cone… everyone gets a lick.
Yo mama’s like a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain’t that hard to score.
Yo mama’s like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.
Yo mama’s like a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her.
Yo mama’s like cake mix, 15 servings per package!
Yo mama’s like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
Yo mama’s like a window, always open.
Yo mama’s like Denny’s… open 24 hours.
Yo mama’s like McDonalds… Billions and Billions served.
Yo mama’s like McDonalds… over 5 billion served world wide.
Yo mama’s like McDonalds… What you want is what you get.
Yo mama’s like mustard, she spreads easy.
Yo mama’s like the Pillsbury dough boy – everybody pokes her.
Yo mama’s like lettuce, 25 cents a head.
Yo mama’s like a hardware store, 25 cents a screw.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin’ at an orange juice box because it said `concentrate.’
Yo mama’s so stupid, I put a Scratch-N’-Sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool and she drowned.
Yo mama’s so stupid, I asked her do tricks for me and she wagged her tail.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she has 1 toe & bought a pair of flip flops
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put a phone up her *** SPAM *** and thought she was making a booty call.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put on her glasses to watch 20/20.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she failed a survey.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she gave birth to you.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the basement window.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of “Walk” and “Don’t Walk.”
Yo mama’s so stupid, when the computer said “Press any key to continue”, she couldn’t find the ‘Any’ key.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought 2pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said “Cherry or grape?”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she sat in a tree house because she wanted to be a branch manager.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when I told her to squeal like a pig, she said “Moo!”
Yo mama’s so stupid, her latest invention was a glass hammer.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she saw a billboard that said “Dodge Trucks” and she started ducking through traffic.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when she threw a grenade at me I pulled the pin and threw it back.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she was on the corner with a sign that said “Will eat for food.”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got shoved in an oven and froze to death.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got locked in a meat locker and sweat to death.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when your dad fucked her she said “Doesn’t it go in my mouth?”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she leaves the house for the Home Shopping Network.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to put M&M’s in order.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she peals M&M’s to make chocolate chip cookies.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she threw a rock the ground and missed.
Yo mama’s so stupid, her breasts are square cuz she forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she sat on the TV & watched the couch.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought St. Ides was a Catholic church.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.
Yo mama’s so stupid, the first time she used a vibrator, she cracked her two front teeth.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin’ “Free Lays!”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to throw a bird off a cliff.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to drown a fish.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought menopause was a button on the VCR.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when she worked at McDonald’s and someone ordered small fries, she said
“Hey Boss, all the small one’s are gone.”
Yo mama’s so stupid, her shirt says TGIF- *** SPAM *** go in first.
Yo mama’s so stupid, her shoes say TGIF- toes go in front.
Yo mama’s so stupid, if brains were gas she wouldn’t have enough to power a flea-mobile around th e inside of a Froot Loop.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when they said they were playing craps she went and got toilet paper.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Yo mama’s so stupid, I said give me a quarterback and she gave me Dan Marino.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
Yo mama’s so stupid, if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you’d get change.
Yo mama’s so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of 3rd grade.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she couldn’t tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when her husband lost his marbles she bought him new ones.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought the internet was something you catch fish with.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to mail a letter with food stamps.
Yo mam’s so stupid, she tried to drown herself in a carpool.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she invented a solar powered flashlight.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she told everyone that she was “illegitiment” because she couldn’t read.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when she saw a “Wrong Way” sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought asphalt was a skin disease.Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought Delt a Airlines was a sorority.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when she saw the “NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)” sign, she went home and got 16 friends.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she gave your uncle a *** SPAM *** ’cause he said it’d help his unemployment.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got fired from a blow-job.
Yo mama’s so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.
Yo mama’s so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven’t seen the bitch since.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when someone said “Take the trash out,” she moved.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she used a vibrator for an egg beater.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she wiped her *** SPAM *** before she took a shit.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she wemt to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she asked you “What is the number for 911”.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg’s holiday album.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thinks Trak Auto is where you get hair weaves for your car.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got shot running the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald’s and said “Hold the cheese.”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got on her knees to drink her “Nehi” peach drink.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought Thiland was a men’s clothing store.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done.

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